The English language is not as nuanced as some other languages, so to better understand the concept of love, let’s hop in the “way back” machine and see how different forms of love were described by the ancient Greeks.
Agape (selfless, universal love)
Agape is selfless, universal love—like the love you might have for strangers, nature, God, or even the love that God has for you. This love is unconditional and goes beyond just ourselves. It’s about having endless compassion and empathy for everyone, whether they’re close to you or complete strangers. This also refers to sacrificial love where the love (or one’s life) is given with nothing expected in return.
Eros (romantic, passionate love)
Eros (the base word that we get our word “erotic” from) was named after the Greek God of fertility. This kind of love is all about passion, lust, and pleasure. The Ancient Greeks thought Eros was a bit wild and scary because it involves losing control in the heat of the moment. Eros is that intense, romantic, and sexual kind of love. In contrast, biblical usage of eros referred to “marital love” because the only people that were supposed to be having sex was husbands and wives.
Ludus (playful love)
Ludus is a playful kind of love. It’s the silly, light-hearted interactions. Reminiscent of having a crush and flirting, or the kind of affection you see between young lovers. It is worth noting that this word is actually derived from Latin.
Mania (obsessive love)
Mania is love as obsession. This is where stalking, co-dependency, extreme jealousy, and even violence can come into play.
Philautia (self-love)
To care for others, you have to care for yourself first. As Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”
Philia (affectionate love)
Philia is all about friendship. Plato believed you didn’t need physical attraction for love, which is where the term “platonic” originated to describe non-romantic friendships.
Pragma (enduring love)
Pragma is all about long-lasting love built on commitment and understanding. It’s the type of love that grows over time and involves making compromises to keep the relationship going. It’s about patience and tolerance, which is where we get pragmatic from.
Storge (familiar love)
Storge is that natural affection you feel with your family. This type of love is protective and based on kinship, like the bond between parents and their kids. It can also describe the loyalty you feel towards your country or your favorite sports team or your friends that you consider your “chosen family.”
After reading these definitions it may be easier to understand what feelings you have and better define and engage in your interpersonal relationships.
Sources
https://www.dictionary.com/e/greek-words-for-love/
https://greekcitytimes.com/2023/02/14/8-ancient-greek-words-love-2/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love