Peace, love and forgiveness form a triangle we don’t normally associate with each other, yet they are inextricably linked to our emotional, mental and spiritual health.
Let’s start off with what forgiveness is. According to the American Psychological Association:
Forgiveness involves willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has committed a wrong, been unfair or hurtful, or otherwise harmed you in some way. Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or ceasing to be angry. Rather, it involves a voluntary transformation of your feelings, attitudes, and behavior, so that you are no longer dominated by resentment and can express compassion, generosity, or the like toward the person who wronged you. (https://www.apa.org/topics/forgiveness)
Well, to me that sounds like active love, the love and care of oneself. If you are holding on to pain, offense and resentment, those negative feelings and emotions can rob you of your peace and happiness and allow negativity to live rent-free in your mind and soul. You expend energy re-living whatever situation occurred in your head, which can lead to physical manifestations that can affect your health. Your body reacts to that emotional stress as if it is actually happening, even if it is just you replaying a memory. In some cases, the idea of revenge or payback can become an unhealthy obsession that festers and grows, even more so when it isn’t or can’t be acted upon.
This negativity can also spread to affect and infect other areas and relationships in your life, causing additional damage to yourself and collateral damage to others. In some situations, that negative energy being harbored and not released can cause one to have unwarranted actions and reactions to others, that may actually put you in a position to offend or cause some form of harm to another. In order to heal and move on one must forgive, even if that seems counterintuitive.
This is also where the active love of others and channeling God’s love comes in. In The Message version of Matthew 5:43-47 it says:
“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
Now let’s look at forgiving from a purely spiritual perspective. Jesus, in Matthew 6:14-15 in the New King James version says it like this:
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
There is a caveat to the principle of forgiveness that needs to be pointed out. While we are instructed to actively forgive others for their offenses against us, we must also actively repent, confess, and ask forgiveness for our sins and offenses from both God and man. When we engage in forgiving others, we model and channel God’s love and grace, while establishing our own peace. When we ask for forgiveness, that humility brings healing and peace to those we have wronged, and the confession highlights correction we need in ourselves. In both situations God works change, growth and grants peace.
Now you may ask why peace is so important. First of all, for love to flourish, there has to be a peaceful environment. Where there is peace and love, mutual support and encouragement can happen. That is brought to our attention in Romans 14:19 (KJV):
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
Synonyms for edify include: build, uplift, enlighten, improve and elevate. Now, while you ponder that, did you know that one of the Greek translations of peace is “set at one again”? That can be interpreted as a reset, or the restoration of harmony. When you put that together with the concept of forgiveness, you begin to see how interconnected they are.
Another reason peace is so important is because we are admonished to follow it in Hebrews 12:14 (KJV):
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
In the Greek holiness also means purification. From this I believe that the ongoing acts of loving our neighbors and enemies, practicing forgiveness and pursuing peace are a part of the “best practices” in following the examples of Jesus and developing stronger relationships, even with our Creator. To me, Jesus confirms that in Matthew 5:9 (KJV) with:
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
To wrap it all up, I would like to include “peaceful,” “loving,” and “forgiving” in the list of “whatever things” from Philippians 4:8 (NKJV):
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.